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We have always regarded lovemaking as a sacred act. Coupes connect through acts of love such as a caress, a passionate embrace, or a loving gaze to touch each other on a deeper level than the physical. You join your body, heart, mind and spirit to another and in so doing become one being. These messages without words join you to your beloved long before you express yourself through the acts of ecstasy.

However, in the western world, this sacredness is often disregarded as irrational. Instead, a favoured view is a mechanistic one, a view that says that your body is simply seeking to reproduce and/or requiring physical release. This doesn’t change the truth though. Physics will tell you that a human body is an energetic system. This means human beings are actually energy beings. Consider this: If you connect one energy system to another, like your computer to the electricity in the wall, in reality they become one energetic system even though they appear to be two separate systems. This is what happens when we become intimate with someone at any level. It is also why we “resonate” with those we’re close to. So in the end, you really are uniting to become one. This is what makes the act of love so sacred.

If lovemaking is a sacred act, then your bedroom can be considered the temple and your bed as the altar upon which you worship. Lovemaking becomes a consecrating rite of your union.

All of which brings us to the point. Have a look at places or things that are openly regarded as sacred such as a cathedral, temple or mosque. You will find that they are “dressed up” to reflect the faith of those who believe and to declare to the world the beauty of that belief. They create signals for themselves and others primarily through atmosphere - colours, smells, textures - that this space is sacred. We can do the same thing in our bedrooms.

Creating Your Sacred Bedroom

Colour should be one of the first things you consider, since this will set the tone and atmosphere of the room. The main thing in doing your bedroom is to think sexy, sacred and, “I will need to sleep here, especially after I’ve changed the space to be so special.”. Avoid bright colours that say “kid’s room” or “kitchen”; this is not the atmosphere you’re looking for. Pastel colours are relaxing, but they also help you to stay calm, cool and in your head; again not what you’re looking for. However, the bedroom is also a place of rest as well as sacred love. What you are looking for then is richness and warmth. Churches use this all the time. This doesn’t mean all intense colour all the time; it means using warm, glowing neutrals with your colours. Another thing to use is gold, as in metallic accents or rich golden light, or both. Gold is an unconscious compulsion driver for most people, which essentially means that it tends to drive up your passions without your conscious thought. It is warm and is the metal of the gods, so it seems rather appropriate to use gold in your bedroom.

For good colour schemes, a really good book to use is the Color Scheme Bible. It gives a lot of good tips about how to use colour in every area of your home and arranges two hundred palettes by colour group: From pinks and reds all the way through to neutrals and grays. Each palette’s mood is explained and the book also shows in what proportions you need to use the colours in order to create that mood.

When looking at the fabrics in your room such as bedding and pillows, think of how the texture feels and how it reflects light. Your fabrics should be sensual fabrics that encourage the sense of touch. As for light, fabrics such as velvets and ultra suede will tend to mute the light in the room. This can give a very intimate feel, whereas reflective fabrics such as satin will reflect the light and give the room a bit of sparkle. One important note: When choosing your sheets, pick colours you’re going to look good against. For instance, if you look terrible in green, don’t get green sheets and if you look good in red, get those.

So far as the bed proper is concerned, it should look enticing to you but not like you immediately want to get in and snuggle down to sleep, or to get into flannel jammies and have hot chocolate under the covers. It should look like two adults sleep and play in the bed. It should also look like it is a special and reverenced space by those who use it. That means to keep it nicely made and clean. Use a bedskirt to hide the boxspring and get some nice pillows that aren’t just for looks plus some good shams to go with your bedding.

The final factor in your bedroom design is the lighting, since it will determine how effective the mood is. For example, if you have some lighting that is low key, it will help to create a glow and an intimate feel for when you want to be intimate. Consider having several lamps in the room, allowing you to adjust the rooms light to suit the mood of the evening. Candles are an effective light source for intimacy, just pay attention to safety. Putting them on the window sill may seem like a lovely idea, right up until the drapes catch fire!

Your end goal is to create a space in your home that belongs to the two of you, is versatile enough to go from intimate to comforting (in a sleepy kind of way) and encourages you to connect on a deeper level, no matter what you may be doing in this, your sacred bedroom. It is a temple to the two of you, celebrating the sanctity and joy of your lives together.

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