Early in my life, being the tongue tied sort, I developed a strategy of asking fun questions to get to know someone. It always happened the same way: I would meet someone new, and not knowing what I had in common with them would find myself at a loss for words. I never knew what to say. Then one day, it hit me: why not let them do the talking! And what’s the easiest way to get someone talking? Why get them to talk about themselves, of course! And you do that by asking them a question.
But what do you ask? You could ask about their taste in music, or if they have seen the latest movie, and that will work well enough if their interests happen to match yours, but if it doesn’t, your still stuck guessing what you may have in common with them. Never fear, though, there is a better way to find out what questions to ask.
The key is to be an observer of people. If, for example, the girl you have just met is wearing a necklace with a teddy bear charm on it, then you have a conversation starter. All you do is comment on it, and ask her where she got it. If she purchased it for herself, then you know she likes teddy bears. If it was a gift, then it’s a safe bet that the gift giver is someone important to her.
From there you can interject a brief anecdote relating to her answer. The point is not the teddy bear pendant, it is observing the other person enough to find possible avenues for connection and conversation. We all have a myriad of life experiences that we can relate to other people’s experiences, and these are the basis for the connections between us. We also tend to display on or about our person symbols of people and things that are important to us. Observe these clues, and you will be one step ahead in getting to know the other person.
Initially, keep it light and fun. Your questions should be designed in such a way that they foster mutual feelings of happiness. Make your questions personal, but not too personal. Encourage the other person to open up and tell you what they like and dislike, what makes them happy and what doesn’t. Encourage them to tell you a story, and tell one in return.
So there you have it, now you know how to ask fun questions to get to know someone. What, you thought there would be more to it? That’s ok, when I first started, so did I. but it really is that easy. It just takes a little practise. What’s your favourite strategy for getting to know new people? Leave a comment, and tell us the story!
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