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When was the last time you gave your beloved a good, sensual massage. When was the last time you received one? What’s that? You can’t remember? Well, you’re probably not alone. Most of us are usually too tired, too busy or too distracted to even think about it, let alone take the time out to partake of this intimate activity. When we get caught up in the kids and career lifestyle, we all too often find ourselves snatching precious moments of intimacy with our partners between moments of hectic. Because those moments are so rare and short lived, we also tend to spend them focusing on “the good stuff”, completely bypassing the essential buildup that makes “the good stuff” good. Our romantic lives become a mechanical exercise in repetition, eventually becoming just something we do, as time permits.

Might I suggest that you make the time, rather than wait for it to come available? Schedule an hour a week (more if you can) to spend with your partner, exchanging sensual massages. The idea behind this is to allow them to touch you, comfort you and love you with no further expectations. Let it be unto itself, a time of connection and bonding, rather than a means to an end. This is a great way to truly appreciate your partner in all his or her glory, and let them know how much you truly love them.

How to Give a Sensual Massage

Use a soft touch, one that smooths away tensions, but more importantly, is focused on the skin more than the underlying muscle. Use a moisturizing lotion or nourishing skin oil and imagine yourself wiping away all that troubles your partner. Have some soft ambient music playing in the background and your partner will learn what it’s like to melt into blissful repose.

When you find yourself on the receiving end, give your partner permission to wipe away your troubles. Give yourself over to their care, surrendering and releasing yourself to them. Allow their touch and the music to wash over you, transporting you to another place inhabited only by the two of you. Let your lover’s hands guide you to a place of deep connection, a place where you remember all the reasons that this one is your chosen beloved.

Sounds pretty good right? Well this is something you can each do for each other if you make the time. Remember, this is about sensual massage not sexual massage. It is about loving and being loved. As you give the massage, you will learn to intuit what your partner needs and eventually even begin to anticipate their needs before they even know that it exists. From receiving a sensual massage, you develop trust in your partner’s touch and respect that they not only know what you need, but will fulfil that need. This does amazing things for all aspects of your relationship. For instance, if you can bare yourself to your partner and know they will see and understand nuances you’re not even aware you’re telegraphing, you’ll know you can translate that to other areas of your life together. Communication gets enhanced and you remember you’re both people. This kind of massage bypasses the intellect and goes straight to the body and heart. Through it you share healing and love.

If you doubt the efficacy of sensual massage, look at how a baby reacts to the touch of a loving mother’s or father’s caress on their tiny bodies: They calm and find a still place, then find their world of dreams, with a face that’s at peace. When a parent is in love with their little bundle, they will touch them in a very sensual way: It’s a caress, stroke or maybe a nuzzle. They kiss the baby’s fingers or they might smell the baby with their eyes closed. They are revelling in the way the baby feels and are lost in the wonder this little human being has brought into their life. This is what you need to do with your beloved. Experience them as a mother experiences her child, revelling in every aspect of their existence. Through this experience, you will discover new levels of intimacy and joy in your relationship, levels never before imagined.

To learn more about the various types of massage, you can start at Wikipedia

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