Comments on: The Law of Attaction and Finding Love http://www.incurable-romantic.com/how-to-be-romantic/the-law-of-attaction-and-finding-love Romance is a Way of Being Thu, 28 Aug 2008 05:12:29 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6 By: Marc http://www.incurable-romantic.com/how-to-be-romantic/the-law-of-attaction-and-finding-love#comment-112 Marc Wed, 07 May 2008 02:24:53 +0000 http://www.incurable-romantic.com/?p=52#comment-112 Tigress: I'm glad that you haven't given up hope. Not to depress you, but I was reading about a british couple that just fell in love and got married as senior citizens. There is always hope, and love will find you in it's own time, if you don't find it first. But one way or the other, you and yours will connect, as long as you stay open to the possibility. At least that's what I believe.. Dawne:The only reason that I am so "wonderful" is to ensure that you keep your attention on little ole' me... Tigress: I’m glad that you haven’t given up hope. Not to depress you, but I was reading about a british couple that just fell in love and got married as senior citizens. There is always hope, and love will find you in it’s own time, if you don’t find it first. But one way or the other, you and yours will connect, as long as you stay open to the possibility. At least that’s what I believe..

Dawne:The only reason that I am so “wonderful” is to ensure that you keep your attention on little ole’ me…

]]> By: Dawne http://www.incurable-romantic.com/how-to-be-romantic/the-law-of-attaction-and-finding-love#comment-111 Dawne Wed, 07 May 2008 02:16:57 +0000 http://www.incurable-romantic.com/?p=52#comment-111 Hi Tigress, this is Dawne. I'm not sure lucky is really the case, because what I really did was, and I quote, "God, I'm done. I can't take anymore. I'm not looking at ANYONE until you send me THE ONE. AND, You will have to hit me over the head with an aluminum baseball bat to let me know!" Yes, I really do remember what I said 22 years ago. The real point though, is that I left absolutely no room within myself, the universe, or with God, for anything else to happen. I also had my list from the age of 13 - I KNEW him long before I met him, and to be honest I always had. The only lucky part was that my other half was so wonderful. Hi Tigress, this is Dawne. I’m not sure lucky is really the case, because what I really did was, and I quote, “God, I’m done. I can’t take anymore. I’m not looking at ANYONE until you send me THE ONE. AND, You will have to hit me over the head with an aluminum baseball bat to let me know!” Yes, I really do remember what I said 22 years ago. The real point though, is that I left absolutely no room within myself, the universe, or with God, for anything else to happen. I also had my list from the age of 13 - I KNEW him long before I met him, and to be honest I always had. The only lucky part was that my other half was so wonderful.

]]> By: Tigress http://www.incurable-romantic.com/how-to-be-romantic/the-law-of-attaction-and-finding-love#comment-110 Tigress Wed, 07 May 2008 00:30:05 +0000 http://www.incurable-romantic.com/?p=52#comment-110 First and foremost, Dawne was lucky, maybe blessed to have found you in 3 weeks. I'm over 40 and I'm still looking for "the one". Do I know what I want? Yes. Am I settling for less? No. Have I given up hope? Well, no. But I will say that maybe I do need to put a little more faith in it. I know he's out there somewhere but maybe it's something I haven't believed in my heart for some time now. Great post. Though I don't entirely agree, I do still agree with quite a bit of it. :-) First and foremost, Dawne was lucky, maybe blessed to have found you in 3 weeks. I’m over 40 and I’m still looking for “the one”. Do I know what I want? Yes. Am I settling for less? No. Have I given up hope? Well, no. But I will say that maybe I do need to put a little more faith in it. I know he’s out there somewhere but maybe it’s something I haven’t believed in my heart for some time now.

Great post. Though I don’t entirely agree, I do still agree with quite a bit of it. :-)

]]> By: Marc http://www.incurable-romantic.com/how-to-be-romantic/the-law-of-attaction-and-finding-love#comment-83 Marc Wed, 30 Apr 2008 19:05:34 +0000 http://www.incurable-romantic.com/?p=52#comment-83 Uniquely Blue: "But why does a nice man, and a good man that will treat you right come across as a “soft” or unable to protect a woman?" That's an awesome question, thanks for asking it. My favorite theory right now blames pop culture and media. If you watch movies, most of the time the action heroes are tough, resourceful, and eventually win the day by getting angry. That's nice in the movies, but in real life, it doesn't really work. An angry man is angry wherever he is, including in his relationships, hence the ugly disposition, and the perception is that "protective" equals Bad Ass. A true Knight in Shining Armour is a man who has great personal power, but more importantly, the ability to control that power. Out in the big bad world, as a provider and protector, his controlled power then becomes assertiveness, not aggression. He can, if required, employ anger to right a wrong or defend his family, but it is at his discretion. At home that controlled power turns to his family with the intent of doing all that he can to help them be happy and secure. To that end, he listens to his family, and often does what what they ask. This is where the perception of "soft" comes into play, for in our modern lexicon, a man who bows to the will of his wife is soft, whipped, and other less than flattering terms. Unfortunately, real men have few role models to show them how to be real men, but that doesn't mean that they don't exist. I would encourage you to make your list, and stick to it, with a couple of extra points thrown in. First, realize that your list is not carved in stone. As you go through your life it can, and likely will change, and that's ok, because you are constantly changing as well. Second, I would encourage you to put more emphasis on personal qualities than physical ones. It's ok to say that he should be good looking, but too specific here could be putting rules in place that will actually work against you. What do I mean? Let's say that your physical list could be summed up as "Looks like Brad Pitt". Let us further suppose that you meet a man that fulfills the rest of your list in every single respect, except that he looks like Johnny Depp instead of Brad Pitt. This one rule could then cause you to shut out a good looking man who is kind, caring, protective, supportive, et al, and who wants to love you completely. In short, perfect in every way, save the one way that is most likely to change over time anyway, and not necessarily for the better, heh. You see where I'm going with this? I would encourage you not to give up. Have faith. I'm going to cut my answer short here, because I'm seriously thinking that this is an article unto itself, heh. I hope this answered your question, at least in part. Cheers, Marc Uniquely Blue: “But why does a nice man, and a good man that will treat you right come across as a “soft” or unable to protect a woman?” That’s an awesome question, thanks for asking it. My favorite theory right now blames pop culture and media. If you watch movies, most of the time the action heroes are tough, resourceful, and eventually win the day by getting angry. That’s nice in the movies, but in real life, it doesn’t really work. An angry man is angry wherever he is, including in his relationships, hence the ugly disposition, and the perception is that “protective” equals Bad Ass. A true Knight in Shining Armour is a man who has great personal power, but more importantly, the ability to control that power.

Out in the big bad world, as a provider and protector, his controlled power then becomes assertiveness, not aggression. He can, if required, employ anger to right a wrong or defend his family, but it is at his discretion. At home that controlled power turns to his family with the intent of doing all that he can to help them be happy and secure. To that end, he listens to his family, and often does what what they ask. This is where the perception of “soft” comes into play, for in our modern lexicon, a man who bows to the will of his wife is soft, whipped, and other less than flattering terms.

Unfortunately, real men have few role models to show them how to be real men, but that doesn’t mean that they don’t exist. I would encourage you to make your list, and stick to it, with a couple of extra points thrown in. First, realize that your list is not carved in stone. As you go through your life it can, and likely will change, and that’s ok, because you are constantly changing as well. Second, I would encourage you to put more emphasis on personal qualities than physical ones. It’s ok to say that he should be good looking, but too specific here could be putting rules in place that will actually work against you.

What do I mean?

Let’s say that your physical list could be summed up as “Looks like Brad Pitt”. Let us further suppose that you meet a man that fulfills the rest of your list in every single respect, except that he looks like Johnny Depp instead of Brad Pitt. This one rule could then cause you to shut out a good looking man who is kind, caring, protective, supportive, et al, and who wants to love you completely. In short, perfect in every way, save the one way that is most likely to change over time anyway, and not necessarily for the better, heh. You see where I’m going with this?

I would encourage you not to give up. Have faith. I’m going to cut my answer short here, because I’m seriously thinking that this is an article unto itself, heh. I hope this answered your question, at least in part.

Cheers, Marc

]]> By: Uniquely Blue http://www.incurable-romantic.com/how-to-be-romantic/the-law-of-attaction-and-finding-love#comment-82 Uniquely Blue Wed, 30 Apr 2008 12:07:05 +0000 http://www.incurable-romantic.com/?p=52#comment-82 At what point do we get it right? I know what I need but the package isn't what I want, or vice versa (blonde bomb shell example just not for me :)) and I don't have a history of dating the most "attractive" people either. But why does a nice man, and a good man that will treat you right come across as a "soft" or unable to protect a woman? And then the perception of a man that can protect you comes in really ugly disposition? Grrrrr!!!!! I gave up a long long time ago but I love coming here because you make me think... *wink* thanks! At what point do we get it right? I know what I need but the package isn’t what I want, or vice versa (blonde bomb shell example just not for me :)) and I don’t have a history of dating the most “attractive” people either. But why does a nice man, and a good man that will treat you right come across as a “soft” or unable to protect a woman? And then the perception of a man that can protect you comes in really ugly disposition?

Grrrrr!!!!! I gave up a long long time ago but I love coming here because you make me think…

*wink* thanks!

]]> By: Seok Lee http://www.incurable-romantic.com/how-to-be-romantic/the-law-of-attaction-and-finding-love#comment-80 Seok Lee Tue, 29 Apr 2008 09:26:43 +0000 http://www.incurable-romantic.com/?p=52#comment-80 Hi! I'm the man who is forty-something . Good job on writing! Happy surfing! Hi!
I’m the man who is forty-something . Good job on writing!
Happy surfing!

]]> By: Meredith http://www.incurable-romantic.com/how-to-be-romantic/the-law-of-attaction-and-finding-love#comment-79 Meredith Tue, 29 Apr 2008 08:32:39 +0000 http://www.incurable-romantic.com/?p=52#comment-79 This is very well put, so many people think more in line of their "wants" than their "needs", this blog has put it into perspective. Well Done!!!! This is very well put, so many people think more in line of their “wants” than their “needs”, this blog has put it into perspective. Well Done!!!!

]]> By: Chelle http://www.incurable-romantic.com/how-to-be-romantic/the-law-of-attaction-and-finding-love#comment-78 Chelle Tue, 29 Apr 2008 02:29:51 +0000 http://www.incurable-romantic.com/?p=52#comment-78 I made one of these lists myself after reading about it somewhere...and sure enough my hubby has every single one of those qualities on the list...so I definitely believe in as kooky as it may seem to people...I think when you're clear about knowing what you want, you're more likely to recognize it when it finds you. Great post Marc! I made one of these lists myself after reading about it somewhere…and sure enough my hubby has every single one of those qualities on the list…so I definitely believe in as kooky as it may seem to people…I think when you’re clear about knowing what you want, you’re more likely to recognize it when it finds you. Great post Marc!

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