When it comes to romantic proposals, I have to admit that I’m not that good at them. Oh, I can dream up an idea or two, that’s not the problem. The problem lies in execution. When I decided that the time was right to ask Dawne to marry me, I almost stalled the whole process by virtue of having too many ideas. Eventually, though, I did settle on one romantic proposal and set about organizing my plan.
Opting for the “simple surprise” approach, I invited Dawne out for a coffee date. You see, Dawne and I were (and still are) avid coffee drinkers. Unfortunately, I don’t actually remember the finer details of my plan, save that it involved asking her to marry me over coffee, for within five minutes of our arrival at the coffee shop the whole plan was firmly derailed by the addition of a third party to our table.
R was a nice enough fellow, but suffered from an unfortunate lack of subtlety. Consequently, he completely failed to understand my hints and suggestions that he might want to be somewhere else right now (nudge, nudge, wink, wink). In fact, the closest he came to leaving us alone was his one bathroom trip. More about that in a moment.
I even switched tactics, trying to suggest that Dawne and I might want to go somewhere else together. Alone. No such luck. This went on for a good half hour or so, with Dawne and R having a great chat (on my nickle, I might add) while my efforts went to naught and quiet desperation began to color my thoughts and words.
Remember that bathroom trip I mentioned? By the time R finally decided that it was time to “make room for more coffee” (his exact words) my desperation was anything but quiet. The moment he was out of earshot, I unceremoniously asked Dawne, “So, you wanna go look at rings tomorrow?” It took a moment for her to realize that I was asking her to marry me, but there it was: possibly the worst marriage proposal I could have ever dreamed up. No flowery words, no bended knee, no flourishing presentation. Just a blunt question dropped in the middle of the table to be dealt with at the mercy of another.
If I may be so bold, please accept a few suggestions from yours truly for your romantic proposals and with a little planning (and luck), maybe your moment will be one worth remembering.
- First: make sure your friends are in on the plan, even if it’s just to the extent of a firm, “don’t interrupt!” As I mentioned earlier, I don’t remember the finer details of the plan, but I am certain it would have been wonderful had R not joined us on that fateful day.
- Second: Consider your partner’s likes and wants before anything else! I had decided to propose to Dawne over coffee because that was the kind of person she was: a coffee drinker and all that entails.
- Third: Don’t throw money at the plan, thinking that extravagance equals romance. It doesn’t. This relates back to point number 2: if she doesn’t like diamonds (Dawne doesn’t), it doesn’t matter how big the rock is, it still won’t be right. Likewise with billboards, skywriters, and violin quartets. What she likes is far more important than how much money you spend.
- Finally, be yourself. If you’re the romantic type, be romantic. If you’re the action type, take action. Or, if like me, you’re the desperate type, be that too. I think that in the end that is why, of all the romantic proposals I considered, my almost proposal worked: it was 100% me, not some dog and pony show concocted in an effort to beguile Dawne into marrying me.
’till next time, Marc
6 Comments
That was a short proposal. I am curiously to find out what did she reply when you asked her directly and when she realised you are asking her to marry you. For one of my friends, he didn’t even have to ask. His Mother-in-law popped the question that maybe they should apply for housing with the authority; when you apply for housing with the authority, the couple must be getting marry.
BKs last blog post..Chicken A La Carte by Ferdinand Dimadura
Well, there’s the romantic ideal and then there’s real life. At least you got the deal done. You could have come up with something really elaborate which could have gone wrong. Congratulations to you both.
Somebody sent me this video of a disneyland proposal and I thought it was the cutest way ever to propose. I’m not sure how old it is so I apologize if you have seen it before, but I just came across it last week. So sweet!!!
http://poststuff5.entensity.net/070609/flash.php?media=proposal.flv
This is very sweet advice, and too true! I think you’re exactly right: a proposal should be personalized. Not everybody likes the same things, so there is no blanket proposal that would work. After all, the relationship is based on just the two people in it, so it should be individualized to that. Great post.
Those are good tips - I like the one of not spending any money. I don’t think anything expensive would ever be worth it - wouldn’t you rather have the money for the wedding or maybe a down payment on a house?
Chelle´s last blog ..9 Romantic Halloween Ideas
Love this post. What I love most is that it just shows me that a man IS romantic…that he WANTS to shower his woman with love and romance. We women can so easily forget that and start to try to pull it out of a man…like squeezing juice from a rock…only — men AREN’T rocks!!! Sincerely, Rori Raye
Rori Raye´s last blog ..Out of My Head and Into My Heart