The body of a woman is a temple to the divine. Dawne and I have begun to explore the realm of Tantric sex, or at least its western variation, called Neotantra. Almost since the beginning, Dawne and I have believed in the spirituality of the sexual union. We found that the more often we consummated our love, the more in tune we became, even to the extent of finishing each other’s sentences and anticipating each other’s needs.
We muddled along for the next two decades, slowly growing our spiritual and physical connections. We spent a great deal of time learning about the human energy system, and how to truly give of ourselves each to the other. In all honesty, we thought we were a bit odd, having never heard of similar interests from others. Actually, that’s not quite true: we did occasionally hear about someone selling a book or something on the subject, but they always came across as airy-fairy, or just too “New Age” for our tastes.
The fundamental problem when it came to talking about sex was that it generally fell into one of two categories, the first (and most prevalent) being of the “How to drive him (her) wild in bed” variety. That’s always good to know, but not what we were looking for. The second came from a relationship perspective, again good to know, but still not addressing the deeper connections that we were experiencing. The relationship angle was (and is) one of psychology, and does not address the spirit.
Over the years, Dawne and I have come to the realization that there is actually little seperation between body, mind, and spirit. Yet Western thought and practice insists on compartmentalizing everything, even the various parts of the whole human. Just like you cannot take a section of a plant’s root and tell what its flower will look like, neither can you talk about sex and determine what the spirit will yield.
As such, Neotantra has been a Godsend for us. It has allowed us to expand our knowledge and understanding of each other. Though in the very early stages of learning, we have already begun to experience greater delights, both in and out of the bedroom. In the bedroom we have discovered preferences that we did not know the other had. After 20 plus years of marriage, you would think that we would know, but we didn’t. While I am thrilled to learn something new about Dawne, by the same token, I do feel a little cheated.
If I had known some of the things that she liked, I would have been better able to meet her needs, and that is my ultimate purpose. Indeed, that is the ultimate purpose of our relationship: to bring the other happiness. To lift them when they are down, and to celebrate with the other when they are up. Neotantra fills a vital gap in our ability to love the other in every sense of the word. In her body I find my strength, in her mind I find my inspiration, and in her spirit, my salvation. Through our continuing exploration of spritual sex I hope to finally meet the Goddess that I married, and worship at her altar.
3 Comments
Now that I have found your amazing blog. I find myself coming back each day to read more. My fiance and myself are experiencing the most of what you have said here and we have only been together a short time but have very strong spiritual feelings that I believe come from the distance once had.
This is very encouraging to read that older married couples are still keeping it burning strong. Bravo
WONDERFUL post! I just love this totally open discussion you guys are having about such a VITAL topic that often gets hidden in the closet or joked about in a ribald way but never REALLY discussed openly. This is very important work here. Keep going! We “out here” are loving it.
Bunny and Robin: thank you both so much, as well as everybody else, for your encouragement in this. In all honesty, I was a little reluctant to introduce the subject in an open forum like this, so your comments really mean something to me. When I told Dawne this, she just looked at me like, “how could you miss the obvious Marc?” lol I’m glad I got me a smart woman!