The word “Family” is a loaded one. For some people it brings warmth to the heart and toes, filling them with a golden light. For others, it leaves them with a “so what?” sense of connection. Still others find the word equals pain. In my case, when talking about growing up, I get all three. But the important thing is what you hang on to. Even hanging onto the pain can lead you to become a kinder soul when dealing with others, teaching you to give where others took. You might also try harder in relationships…

Sometimes, there’s nothing you can do no matter how hard you try. But other times, life can bring you the opportunity to change all that; in ways you might prefer it didn’t. If we refuse to understand the flow of our lives, that’s what happens. However, it’s still an opportunity waiting for you to take it.

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There is a saying: Energy flows where attention goes and attention goes where energy flows. That means wherever you place your focus, you give energy to the situation. It also means that when you concentrate on changing a situation and keep your focus there, others will follow after a while.This applies to all areas of our lives, whether personal, professional or social: It’s the magic formula for achieving dreams. And we apply this formula just by existing - as long as you think and feel, you do this.

But… When you apply this to something negative, it will work just as effectively as when applied to something positive. In fact, just as it can help you to achieve your dreams, it can tear your life down.

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Relationship Math

In a relationship 1 + 1 = 3: You make 1, your partner makes 2 and what you create together makes 3. This is for better or worse - it’s up to both of you, your choice, what you create. I tell you this in the hope that you’ll understand that both of you are far greater than the sum of your parts: You are NEVER locked in to what you believe, how you are right now, or what others believe of you. You can CREATE yourself and if you can do that, you can create anything.

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Marc and I have been through some pretty rough periods in our marriage. These always happened when we stepped/fell out of our moment. As I talked about in Magical Moments, Marc and I share a moment of eternity that we manage to stay in almost all the time. However, I also mentioned that we learned how to do this through trial and error. In the course of learning how to do this, we learned a great deal about how to make things work even outside our moment.

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To be romantic is to take care of the people that you care about and this weekend, that means you! We will giving The Incurable Romantic a complete makeover this weekend, starting with a whole new set of graphics designed by Dawne. While the current theme worked very well when this blog was just me writing to and about my lover, but now that both of us are here we wanted something that was more indicative of both our voices.

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Image by Lily Zhu via Flickr

I just finished updating Incurable Romantic’s About Page with Dawne’s Story (mine). Afterwards, I finally got a chance to go over to the blog of probably the single most enthusiastic person I’ve ever had the privilege of hearing from: Robin Easton’s Naked in Eden Blog and started reading Why Didn’t [...]

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While I’ve been recuperating from my dental adventures, I’ve been browsing the blogosphere, looking for romantic men, men like me. While there are a few out there, the vast majority of men’s sites seem to be of the “drink beer and scratch things” variety. You know, the usual: sports, hot babes, career, etc. Whenever they [...]

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We are attracted to opposites, it’s true. There is something alluring about people who differ from us. But what happens when those opposites clash? Is there anything that can be done about it, other than the always painful breakup? Sometimes opposites can strengthen a relationship, and make it better rather than destroy it.
One of two [...]

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Valentine’s is the season of the romantic, and so in that spirit I decided to create this blog as an expression of my life long, ongoing romance with my wife, and our life together. On these pages I will be relating stories from our life together, as well as tips for budding romantics, and pretty [...]

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