Every man should have the experience of that grossly immodest event known as natural childbirth. You know why? Because if they did, they might understand why (and how) women who have had that experience are so, uh, candid, when discussing the body parts of themselves or their beloved’s over coffee with their friends. It’s really rather funny when you start doing that on your second pregnancy, in your partner’s presence.

I did that to Marc once when I was seven months pregnant with our daughter Porche. The lady I was happily chatting with was also seven months pregnant, and on her second pregnancy. We were discussing, in a restaurant, the finer points of our men’s “never-you-minds” (as Marc would put it) and what we liked about them, along with what they did for us. Clearly and very much to the point. Marc got up to go to the bathroom so many times, I thought he had some sort of bladder infection. Don’t worry, he didn’t go alone. Until then, I thought only women went to the bathroom in packs.

You see, when you have a child by natural childbirth, your shame, modesty, whatever you want to call it, goes flying right out the window. Picture this: First, you have a revolving door on your hospital room for staff to come and stick their fingers in places that… Well, you get the idea. Then you’re in the O.R. (in my case) and you’re on a table with your legs WIDE open for everyone there taking a gander at something you might have been a little embarrassed to have your husband take a good look at in the privacy of your own bedroom. There are nurses, doctors and support staff wandering in and out - a veritable baseball team, and you’re throwing the opening pitch. Hey guys, you know how you find those hospital gowns embarrassing? Not so bad now, huh?

Women who’ve had this experience are the same with blogging. It’s very like the coffee scenario: Just chatting with your friends about life. The thing is, life is messy, ungainly (like at seven months pregnant), stinky, sacred, and beautiful all rolled into one. The things you thought were private, turn out to be not quite so private.

The Incurable Romantic is a blog about romance. Guess what? That includes SEX! At least I think it should. I think most women are actually quite comfortable talking about those private things and very curious about the things they don’t know regarding the subject. I think that most men want to know about them too, since those very private things are so important to romantic love. But how does a romantic guy bring up the topic without coming off like that’s all he’s interested in? See, a romantic guy can get a little uncomfortable with a public, candid discussion on such an intimate subject. I know, I married one. It took me years to really get it through my head that his bladder really wasn’t bothering him. But, he did marry me and I apparently don’t have that hang-up. Can’t think why…After four natural childbirths…

Seriously, Marc and I both feel that any discussion about romance necessarily includes talking about physical intimacy. We also believe it is imperative to have a woman’s point of view included in such a discussion. Just a side note here - Marc also wants to “show-off” the romance we share and this was his way of roping me into it: He’s been having a tooth problem and told me he needed my help with The Incurable Romantic for the next few weeks. When I was half way through writing this, he told me what he was really up to… So here we are.

Some of what we’ll discuss will deal with bodily mechanics of both sexes, sometimes in the context of our own experiences (candid, but not graphic). We’ll take a look at sacred/spiritual sex, romance and play in the bedroom, and so on. Neither Marc or I are any kind of experts, and we are very much on a learning journey in this area of our lives. We just hope to help, share and wherever possible enlighten so that others might miss some of the bumps in the road we hit. We hope you’ll join us and learn along with us.

Yep, we’re talking about sex here.

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